Interview with Dipl.-Psychologist Sally Schulze

Fertility is a topic that's deeply personal yet inherently universal. It’s about biology, choices, timing, and sometimes sheer luck. As much as we’ve advanced in science and workplace equality, fertility remains a complex subject woven with societal myths, medical insights, and emotional layers. Let’s dive into some of the key insights from a recent conversation with Sally Schulze to explore fertility in a modern context.

Sally Schulze is a psychologist and women's health expert dedicated to empowering women throughout their lives. As the founder of MentalStark and a certified fertility counselor, she offers support on a range of topics, from fertility and pregnancy to menopause and stress management.

The fertility timeline: A delicate balancing act

One of the most misunderstood aspects of fertility is its timeline. Many people assume that menopause only concerns women in their 50s, but this isn’t the full picture. Perimenopause—the stage where hormonal changes and fertility decline begin—can start as early as the 30s. Fertility doesn’t drop off a cliff at 40; it’s more of a gradual decline that varies greatly from person to person.

Biologically speaking, the quality of eggs begins to decrease around the age of 37. However, as Sally, a psychotherapist, points out, this doesn’t mean that having children later is impossible—it just comes with variability. Some months may bring good eggs, while others don’t. What’s essential is understanding your body, whether through testing, such as the Anti-Müllerian Hormone (AMH) test, or consulting a medical professional early.

"It’s not that all eggs are gone; the maturation process simply becomes less reliable with age" 

Breaking the myth: Career vs. family

One stereotype that refuses to die is that women delay having children because they are too focused on their careers. Interestingly, Sally notes that this is rarely the case. For most women, the delay stems from the lack of a suitable partner, not career ambitions.

In fact, for many women, a focus on their career becomes a result of unfulfilled plans to start a family, not the cause. “It’s often misinterpreted when a woman at 48 is deeply immersed in her profession. It’s not always a choice—it’s sometimes a consequence,” she highlights.

Fertility and the workplace: The unseen struggles

Combining fertility treatments and professional responsibilities is no easy feat. Fertility processes often require strict timing, like visiting the clinic on specific days of a menstrual cycle. For many women, this creates logistical nightmares, especially if work commitments clash with medical appointments.

Despite these challenges, women often go to great lengths to ensure their fertility treatments don’t disrupt their professional image. They schedule early morning appointments or squeeze clinic visits between work meetings, determined not to attract undue attention.

But how do you address this at work without revealing too much? One suggestion is to frame it as a general medical issue:

“Tell your manager, ‘I have a health issue that requires flexibility, but it’s not serious.’ Keep the focus on solutions, not the personal details.”

The emotional toll of the journey

Trying to conceive can be an emotionally exhausting experience. It’s a time filled with hope, anxiety, and sometimes heartbreak. For some women, the weight of unsuccessful attempts can spill over into other areas of life, including work. In extreme cases, the emotional strain has led individuals to quit their jobs temporarily.

This emotional rollercoaster is often exacerbated by well-meaning but misplaced advice. Who hasn’t heard the classic line, “Just relax, and it will happen”? As Sally notes, this kind of advice can be incredibly frustrating. Fertility treatments often feel like a second job, with rigorous schedules and emotional highs and lows.

What can workplaces do?

Supporting employees on their fertility journey isn’t just compassionate—it’s good business. Companies can implement policies and benefits that ease the burden, such as flexible scheduling, covering fertility treatment costs, or even offering egg freezing programs.

While these benefits are more common in the U.S., they are slowly gaining traction in other parts of the world. Employers need to recognize that supporting employees through fertility challenges builds loyalty and enhances workplace morale.

Finding strength in knowledge

As conversations about fertility become more open, the stigma and taboos surrounding it are gradually dissolving. Whether it’s understanding the science of fertility, challenging outdated societal norms, or creating supportive work environments, there’s much we can do to help individuals on this journey.

Ultimately, fertility is as much about managing expectations and emotions as it is about biology. It’s about finding the right balance between personal goals and professional commitments while navigating the unknowns with resilience and grace.

So, let’s talk more about it. Let’s normalize it. And most importantly, let’s support one another on this deeply human journey.

Watch the entire webinar on (German):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWZKDOM0yoA

Autorin: Tsion Basazinew